In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
