Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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