Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize