it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize