Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
