She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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