I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize