you guys were way drunker than both of me
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My bed is full of blood and feathers
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
