And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
