I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
