You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Terrible idea I love it
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize