You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
