Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
