She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize