So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
