I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
