the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
