I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize