You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
