people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Randomize
