One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
