Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
