she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
