i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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