it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
