Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
