how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Pants are for mortals
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
