Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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