eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
