How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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