Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
