so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So. Much. Porn.
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