you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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