what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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