hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
