I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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