hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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