We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize