if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
