hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
