my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
