Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
