My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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