Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
