i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
