I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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