Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize