Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
