normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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