She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
