there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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