She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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