I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
