What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
