I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize