Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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