I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
