Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
