Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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