lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
