There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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