I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
