one might say we're banned from that church
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
