she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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