Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
